I feel bad coming here to vent when I haven’t posted an update in a while, but this blog is where I keep thoughts / feelings that I don’t / can’t share in Real Life, and tonight something shook me little bit, so here I am.
I will be back with a proper New Year 2020 post soon. 🙂
Anyway, everything’s OK. It’s just that H and I have been watching a series on Netflix. I hate to name it, because spoilers, but I’ll just say it’s based on a true story. The main character is a guy who I didn’t know anything about before starting the show, and based on his line of work, I expected him to be a bad guy, a womanizer and murderer; a Tony Soprano- like character. However, four or five episodes in, I found myself feeling like maybe, just maybe, this man was different. He seemed to love his family and took good care of his friends. In fact, during a scene when a female business partner was making a move on this married man, but he rebuffed her advances, H and I both expressed surprise that this was the first show we’ve seen in a long time, maybe ever? without a plot that includes infidelity involving a principal character.
Well. You probably know how this turns out without having seen the show. Because there is no such thing as a television drama without infidelity. 😒
It turns out that I got played, as did this character’s beautiful wife, who finally discovered his many, many affair partners halfway through the series. And during the scene where she confronted him, and he didn’t deny any of it, I felt that old feeling again, that thankfully, I haven’t experienced in some time. It’s the chill that goes down your spine, the dropping of your heart into your stomach, the disbelief. I trusted this guy, and he betrayed me. I’m a smart girl, how could I have been such a fool?
It just sucks.
But I’ll be OK. I know that is no longer my situation, and I’ve recovered well enough that I can sit with those feelings for a few minutes and then bounce right back. Four years on, I’m happy and proud to be able to say this.
Maybe it’s good to have a reminder sometimes, to help ensure that I won’t allow that to happen to me ever again.